April 2023 PURR

The Board of Directors have decided to rename the organization SEA-CLAW, which stands for Seattle Cats, Lobsters, and Wolverines.Thusly our monthly newsletter shall now be named the PURRR. We hope everyone embraces the changes we plan to make, as the $12.99 filing fee had to come straight out of Pup Tye’s cigarette money, and he will be cranky. 

 

Meet your SEA-PAH/SEA-CLAW board!!!

 

Flash

President

Flash is our current president and is the lead in the SEA-PAH barbershop quartet, which is currently looking for three more members. Flash gets his name from his quick ability to finish… a Rubik’s cube. Flash is an inspiring leader and friend who wants to see his community grow and flourish. His JFF account can he found at the following link: https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ 

Spike

Vice President

Spike is the result of a necromancy ceremony gone wrong. If only we read the footnotes in that spell book we found in Pike Place Market!?!? Spike was created using the body of a 19th century chimney sweep and the soul of a rottweiler. His hobbies include sewing back on his fallen limbs, avoiding open flames, and dropping sick beats. His dream is to see the great pyramids of Giza, but climate pledge arena will suffice until plane ticket prices go down. 

Nova

Treasurer

Nova is the Thanos of the board. Nova is trying to get involved in 6 major aspects of queer culture, as he is already a major player in MFF and on the leadership team for BLFC. Nova has also at one point owned a Subaru. Nova was working on finishing his quest and about to mail his audition tape for RuPaul’s Drag Race when he learned that the last step, spending the night with a celebrity, involved leaving one of his pups at Ezra Miller’s villa. Nova gave up on his quest, but will be appearing on Drag Race France in 2025. 

Mint

Secretary (pro team)

While writing Mint’s bio, the CIA stormed my makeshift office at the back of a Queen Anne coffee shop and confiscated the details about their life. The CIA agents assured me that Mint was never a trained spy for the US government and was never assigned any assassination work. Before they left the government agents did say we should keep an eye on them if Mint is around crossbows, authentic 11th century katanas, or poisonous South American toads. 

Domino

Ambassador

Domino has previous leadership experience coming onto the board being a chairperson of the Mary Berry fan club, the Soggy Bottoms. When they aren’t coordinating Walkies or working with others in our community, Domino’s hobbies include winning stuffed animals in claw machines, finding mesh shirts that their nipples poke through in, and completing their third PhD in astrophysics. 

Tye

Public relations

You can take the pup out of Florida, but you can’t take the Florida out of the pup. No seriously, the bacteria from the red tide blooms really messes you up. Our Social Media Guru, he credits his skills with countless hours spent online while waiting for the E line bus, avoiding eye contact with the other riders. His fabulousness can be traced back to his great great grandmother who was a mermaid in Sicily. Tye’s hobbies include knitting, enjoying the outdoors, and being a semi pro matador. 

 

Diesel

Director at Large

Diesel is one of our veteran board members and the sweet heart of the team. Diesel gives everyone the warm and fuzzies upon meeting him, which is partially due to his magnificent beard. A retired Formula 1 mechanic, Diesel spends his time walking along the beach, taking pictures of his photogenic dog, and crossword puzzles. Every few months Diesel flies to exotic destinations such as Paris, Milan, and Pawnee so scientists can study his natural musk to make the perfect cologne. 

Fenrir 

Director at Large 

Fenrir. Also known as Dusty. Also known as “The Trade of The Board''. When not rocking Carhartt brand hats or helping the board with their numerous tech problems, Fenrir is rocking out his Dorris Day impersonation or singing Country Road Take Me Home in Gaelic while he plays the theremin. Fenrir is the board’s resident werewolf but, thanks to microdosing silver in his water bowl, his transformation during the full moon has been mostly reduced to a 30% increase in chest hair and a desire for rare steaks, mostly. 

Seal

Director at Large

Seals are basically puppies of the sea. So yeah. And they have claws. Kinda. I think. But unlike a pinniped, you won’t get kicked out of the aquarium if you try to give this Seal a hug and feed him Dippin’ Dots that you brought from home. I think my ‘No Trespassing’ order has expired by now though. Eh, it’s Seattle. What are the cops gunna do about it. 

 

One Love, One Litter~

The 2023 Board of Directors

 

Events

Walkies!

This month for Walkies as a litter we shall be attending a reading of the critically reviewed book “Memoirs of an Isosceles Cantaloupe” where the author Ærœÿl Blambetsnåck recites short stories about the time he almost bought milk. Admission is $17.59 and they only accept bitcoin. Location and time will be announced once a venue can accommodate Blambetsnåck’s pet Goliath porcupine. 

 

LEEP Class

This month our featured LEEP class will be How to rewire the electrical in your own house. Time and date will be decided once my lock picking kit comes in and I can figure out which Airbnb’s are empty in Ballard. Everyone attending is encouraged to bring their own spool of copper wire and a fire extinguisher. 

 

Fundraiser

 After the success of our Spank the President fundraiser, we raised $9,528.47 after the cost of replacing several broken paddles, one disco ball, and a skin graph for Flash’s butt. The board wants to thank everyone who participated, especially Handler Rose who brought a hemorrhoid pillow for our president to sit on afterwards. Proceeds from this event will go towards buying empty glasses, which we will proceed to push off the table. 

Merchandise

The Merchandise committee is proud to announce SEA-PAH branded apiaries! What’s more fun than combining your love of being a pup with the dangers of housing thousands of stinging insects on your studio apartment’s balcony. These SEA-PAH beehives are available for a limited time so get yours now!

 

 Note: you are responsible for finding your own Queen. We tried to collect some to sell but it didn’t work out. Turns out bees act very aggressive if you break into their hive to steal their matriarch. Who knew?

Calendar of events

 

SEA-CLAW Scratch N Sniff social: Postponed until Trisha apologizes for spilling my Shirley Temple at the last social. I know you did it Trisha! There’s no way the wind would’ve knocked over a full glass. You’re a liar and your hair extensions make you look like a scarecrow that’s been left out in the rain!

SEA-CLAW Monthly Open Mosh shall be replaced with laying in the sun in Cal Anderson Park until we all get sunburned. So about 8 minutes.
 

Committee meetings 

Remember! All SEA-CLAW members are invited to committee meetings and the Board of Directors meeting. Except Tyler. You scamp 

 

Committee to rename Capitol Hill “NorthWest Dollywood” : April 31st, @ Nine to Fiver Diner

Mullets & Makeovers Committee: TBD

Cat Steven Fan club: Always together, in your heart

The Fascination with Old Bridges monthly get together and the Pups for EDM committee meetings shall be combined this month, meeting via Skype. 

 

In an effort to stay green, 87% of The Purrr was written while riding or waiting for public transit. The number would’ve been higher, but I had to finish my Bluey/Last Of Us crossover fanfiction for my publisher first. In my version, Pedro Pascal has to protect Bingo from Cordyceps, while playing fun party games along the way.

 

April Fools! The real HOWL will come tomorrow. Or check our website if you can’t wait. 

https://seapah.tidyhq.com/public/pages/april-2023-howl